Facebook: who are these people?
Well apparently they are my friends, according to Facebook that is. But somehow they just don't look the same. When did they all become movie stars? I am sure I remember them looking a lot different in real life. But not on Facebook.
No on Facebook they all have L'Oreal Elvive hair...they are all apparently so happy... and none of them can crop a photograph straight. Every profile photo is trimmed at some weird angle. Perfect people - trained in everything except how to hold a camera level.
And then there's those other people on Facebook - you know - they ones you were hiding from, but somehow found you and friend requested you. And if you are anything like me you accepted them - after all - they look so smiley - so happy now - not like the used to in real life... Or so you think until you bump into them again at a party. You know who I mean. Don't pretend like you don't. The people who corner you and invade your personal space whenever you meet them and don't stop talking for at least half an hour about stuff you tried so hard to forget. They are relentless - and now they can stalk you on Facebook too.
And what would Facebook be without loads of updates that you don't really don't give a toss about? From people you don't really know or care about? And your wall - so people can tell you in person the stuff you didn't want to read on their page.
So why am I on Facebook? I don't know - I never really collected stamps - but now I am collecting rare people... Scarcely a real friend amongst my 'friends'. No real news in my 'news feed'. No real profile photos in anyone's 'profiles'.
And - for any kids reading this - thinking I have no idea about what kids want nowadays - I absolutely know - the question is - do you know why you feel you need it? I don't need a 'like' button. I like me as I am. Ever notice how there is no 'dislike' or better still 'hate' button on Facebook?
Oh I hear you say - but Facebook is a good tool - I disagree - Facebook is a great tool. But see it for what it is. Facebook is not your friend - but it makes you feel that way - it's just Disney reinvented for the current era. Its full of cuddly toys posing as your friends... Silver screen replaced by computer screen.
Congratulations to all of us for supporting one of the most fantastical share prices of all time. May we all live happily ever after.
No on Facebook they all have L'Oreal Elvive hair...they are all apparently so happy... and none of them can crop a photograph straight. Every profile photo is trimmed at some weird angle. Perfect people - trained in everything except how to hold a camera level.
And then there's those other people on Facebook - you know - they ones you were hiding from, but somehow found you and friend requested you. And if you are anything like me you accepted them - after all - they look so smiley - so happy now - not like the used to in real life... Or so you think until you bump into them again at a party. You know who I mean. Don't pretend like you don't. The people who corner you and invade your personal space whenever you meet them and don't stop talking for at least half an hour about stuff you tried so hard to forget. They are relentless - and now they can stalk you on Facebook too.
And what would Facebook be without loads of updates that you don't really don't give a toss about? From people you don't really know or care about? And your wall - so people can tell you in person the stuff you didn't want to read on their page.
So why am I on Facebook? I don't know - I never really collected stamps - but now I am collecting rare people... Scarcely a real friend amongst my 'friends'. No real news in my 'news feed'. No real profile photos in anyone's 'profiles'.
And - for any kids reading this - thinking I have no idea about what kids want nowadays - I absolutely know - the question is - do you know why you feel you need it? I don't need a 'like' button. I like me as I am. Ever notice how there is no 'dislike' or better still 'hate' button on Facebook?
Oh I hear you say - but Facebook is a good tool - I disagree - Facebook is a great tool. But see it for what it is. Facebook is not your friend - but it makes you feel that way - it's just Disney reinvented for the current era. Its full of cuddly toys posing as your friends... Silver screen replaced by computer screen.
Congratulations to all of us for supporting one of the most fantastical share prices of all time. May we all live happily ever after.
